Tonight, I brought a half-eaten bento box of Taiwanese to-go to my cubicle, and I made sure I chewed and savored every bite of it.
Nine thirty pm. I came in originally because I thought I'd do some extra work, to make up for distracting myself with the web browser all day long today and yesterday--it's been hard lately to focus my attention on my job. I was also planning to finish the meal I only half-ate earlier before class.
Nine fourty-one pm. As I munched and glanced at someone else's blog, I realized that it's been almost a month since I was last reminded that I had things to say. A month that felt just like last week. I stopped chewing. I must have bought these bentos twenty times, but when was the last time I tasted what I was eating? I jet around in search of scenes to photograph, but when was the last time I handed my own camera to a bystander and say, here, take a picture of me and my friend? When was the last time I had something insightful to say to somebody, and could expect them to follow that conversation a month down the road? Or why is it that whenever I call home, "how I am doing" is always followed by "work is okay, same as usual"?
I made sure I chewed and savored the last of my meal. The chinese mustard green had bits of fried challot sprinkled onto them. The tofu chicken was not as chewy as it's usually made but the dipping sauce was good. The rice tasted great with the little bits of pickled radishes and veggie hearts on the side. I left the egg yolk alone because I'm wary of blatant sources of cholesterol.
Nine fifty-three pm. As I write this, I realize I need to somehow start tasting each day the way it is again, and savor the bits and sides of every morning, noon, and night. But I will have to think about how. Whether that I force myself to flip a calendar page each day, or that I start keeping notes of random thoughts again, or that I accomplish my work through sprinting in between resting instead of relying on a constant droning cruise-control. I think I'll have a lot more to say once I think about it..
-- 9:48 PM